You’ve met this new guy and right when you think you’re on to something, he drops the bomb. He declares that he’s not ready for a relationship. ZAAAAAAAAAAAAMN! It’s happened to the best of us. This man has all of the qualities of your Mr. Right. He’s attentive, he has a beautiful smile, but he’s a bit unavailable. He has also made sure he’s covered his butt and told you his limitations from the jump. I’m telling you now, this is going to be a “Ride at your own risk” kind of deal.
He’s laid the groundwork of unavailability which absolves him of being responsible for your heart. I commend a man that can be honest with a woman about where he stands.
In turn, however this makes any woman tread lightly for fear of scaring him away. After all, he’s been hurt, used and abused and he needs you to remind him that there are good women out there. It’s an old tactic, but effective. A woman will give her all and remain docile when it comes to moving this newly acquired f*ckship, into a real relationship. Any mere mention of a RELATIONSHIP would make this man cower and shrivel up like a salted snail.
It’s odd though, he’ll ask you for sex, and make you feel like that’s his main way of connecting with you. He’ll expect faithfulness (on your end). Don’t believe me, just mention dating another man and watch how he guilts you into submission. Be forewarned, he’ll use your mention of dating other people as a scapegoat and buy himself a few more months of fondling around in the relationship pond without actually taking the plunge.
Mr. “I’m not ready for a relationship” is telling you the truth. He’s not ready for one.. .WITH YOU. The longer you fester in unclaimed waters, the longer he’ll see you not as a conquest, but a wet blanket….a soggy, sappy wet blanket. He won’t chase you when you try to run. He will, however, send the obligatory text, and express his lament over your latest ploy for attention. He knows you’ll simmer down and while he let’s you cool off for a few days, he goes off to maintain the others in his stable. Most “I’m not ready for a relationship dudes, know not to get too attached to a woman. They know that most chick’s wise up after about 4 months….the women that are too smart for their own good, usually take about 6 months to realize they’ve been had.
He won’t wine and dine you…there’s no need. Unless he has disposable income, a man won’t invest deeply. The old ladies always say, you know where a man’s heart is based on where he spends his time and his money. Some men are really great about budgeting! Mr. I’m not ready” won’t all of a sudden be ready because of anything one particular woman does. He’s left a plethora of great, I MEAN, GREAT woman in his path. He’s well aware that there are amazing women at his disposal. The only thing that will allow this man to commit and settle down is his own ability to admit that he’s ready for love….and all the scary things that come along with love…tears, rejection, fear of abandonment, possibility of failure. You see, Mr. I’m just not ready” is a scared boy. He may stand broad and tall, but underneath that handsome salary, attractive face, perfect smile and infectious laugh lies a feeble, broken boy. His physicality may very well be that of a man, but what lies beneath is a murky cesspool of confusion and pain in which YOU DO NOT want to have to wade. Trust me, you’re not his Shrink! Nor should you have the task of helping him sort through his drama only to have a clean slate with this next “lady friend”.
As you’re reading this, and trying to convince yourself that your Mr. “I’m not ready” is almost ready, just ask him if he wants to start an exclusive relationship with you. And then when he’s done giving you his eloquent answer, remember, you STILL had to ask him. He still left you to ponder and wonder. When a man wants you, wild animals cannot keep him away…..but, oh honey, when he doesn’t your tears, your body, your precious kids won’t even keep him with you.
Swim away homegirl, and hopefully you’re not in too deep to paddle away without a ton on bricks sinking you to the bottom of that murky cesspool. Swim like hell!
Miss Naja loves you!